Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Super Koreans

This is a special feature brought to you by Japanese Night TV. And it's about the Koreans. Who are super. As you will see.

First, let's examine the differences between Korean and Japanese idols in the pop industry. The Japanese groups just debut when they're formed, and go about their dance and vocal training after that. The Korean groups, however, remain wannabes for at least 3-5 years, during which time they have to train and practice ceaselessly before they even have a CHANCE of debuting (which is not guaranteed by any means). The talent agencies pay for their lodgings and living expenses, but they don't get days off, and probably 3-4 hours of sleep per day.

Even after they debut, Korean idol groups continue to live in extremely modest shared living quarters (paid for by the talent agencies), work 365 days a year from around 9 am to 4 am, and count themselves lucky if they get 2-3 hours off on rare days when the other group members are off on their individual jobs. They get called for jobs or practice on the morning itself, and have to turn up immediately at a moment's notice. They have to take Japanese lessons and self-study just so they can appear on Japanese music shows. Many of them speak very fluent Japanese. While one member is doing a photo-shoot, the other members may be recording for a show in the same studio while waiting their turn. Any spare time is spent back in the studio perfecting their singing and dancing.

Witness Samples A and B. Sample A is a popular Japanese boy band. Sample B is a popular Korean boy band. Would you rather have A) unrecognizable "English" and so-so singing / dancing boys-next-door-who-endearingly-fool-around or B) slickly packaged hot young men with perfect English enunciation, perfectly executed dance moves and smouldering looks to sear your heart?

While Japanese celebrities would shy away from any rumours of having had plastic surgery, Korean stars embrace the work they've had done, and openly declare it on TV. This actually increases their popularity rather than cloaking them in scandal and shame, as it would the Japanese. Of course, this is the nation where parents use the promise of paying for plastic surgery as a means to get their children to study hard and graduate from university, and where men can now get a six-pack through liposuction that sucks away the fatty layer under their tummy skin, revealing the shape of the muscles underneath.

Now, let's look at how Korean men fare against Japanese men in the area of dating. 100 men from each country were surveyed on the streets. Here are some of the results:

1) I say "I love you" to my girlfriend.
Japanese men: about 14/100
Korean men: somewhere between 50-70 / 100

2) I wear pair looks with my girlfriend.
Japanese men: about 4/100
Korean men: 79/100

3) My girlfriend's photo is my mobile phone's wallpaper.
Japanese men: very few
Korean men: 52/100 (one even put puri-kura stickers of him and his girlfriend on the inside of his cellphone's battery compartment, because he didn't want her "to be cold")

4) I carry my girlfriend's bag.
Japanese men: less than 20/100
Korean men: 53/100

On this, here are some comments from the Korean boyband Supernova (Cho Shin Sei in Japanese, Cho Shin Sung in Korean) who were the guests on Japanese Night TV. The leader of the band was shocked that it was "so few" - he expected 100/100 men to answer yes to carrying their girlfriend's bags. Another member said he'd carry the bag of any female friend he went out with. Yet another member said that Korean men carry their girlfriends' bags because they loved their girlfriends and wanted to take care of them. These were feelings that came from their hearts. But apparently not from the hearts of the Japanese male comedians on the show, who all looked disbelieving, while the Japanese female celebrities clapped fervently while secretly making plans to date only Korean men from now on.

Bonus random factoid: Japanese men prefer breasts, while Korean men prefer legs. Mmm hmmm.

More bonus random facts about Samsung: It practically has a monopoly on the electronics and household appliances market in Korea (and also other parts of the world), shared partially with LG. Samsung pays a heckuva lotta money to keep their billboard in a prime high position on Times Square's Times Building (the tall one right in the centre). Samsung employees above 40 earn on average 305 million yen (about 4.8 million SGD) per year, while the top executives in Samsung earn about 700 million yen (10.9 million SGD). Needless to say, Samsung is one of the elite companies Koreans (or anyone) would want to work at.

Finally, a look at the Korean education system. If you thought Japanese juku (cram schools) were tough, wait till you hear what the Koreans do:

- Korean elementary school kids go to cram school for at least 4 or more subjects, including English, Korean, math and even music.
- Cram school teachers will go to the extent of doing cosplay to make cramming math "fun" for kids.
- Dads will send their kids (and their wives with them) to America to study, while they stay behind in Korea, work hard, and send wads of cash to their loved ones, whom they can only see via webcam, for years.
- There is an "English village" in Korea, a huge theme-park-like place where kids can go during the holidays for English camp. They are forbidden to speak Korean within the park.

If all these (plus the existence of Kim Yu-Na) are not enough proof of the Koreans' super-ness, I don't know what is.

Ijyou desu!


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