On Okinawa and other random stuff

A Japanese baker has been singing opera to his bread to make it rise deliciously for 10 years. He used to play a CD, but live singing moves the young loaves more.

In an average life-span of 80 years, you would have grown 11 - 14 metres of hair on your head, 8 - 10 metres of facial hair if you were male, and 3 metres worth of fingernails. Awesome!

And now some facts about Okinawa:

Okinawans consume the most tofu in all of Japan, but interestingly enough, the least ice cream. Apparently, the higher temperatures make ice cream melt too fast to be eaten with relish.

Beef bowl shops in Okinawa consider goya gyuu-don (beef rice with bittergourd on top) as the standard beef bowl. Meanwhile, the standard zenzai (red bean soup with mochi in it) in Okinawa comes with shaved ice, looking more like kakigori (Japanese version of ice kacang) instead. If you want the zenzai served in the rest of Japan, you'll have to specify that you want it hot.

In a shopping street in Okinawa, three obachans (middle-aged ladies) who work in various stalls there have formed a rather popular singing group known as the "Bijin Singers" (Beautiful Singers) or the "Oba Rappers" (Middle-Aged Lady Rappers). They wear over-the-top makeup involving red circles on their cheeks, and sing into cucumber, daikon (radish) and one-other-mike-shaped-vegetable mikes. Hot stuff.

Ijyou desu!

On a little waiting

Besides fried chicken, another prevalent phenomenon in summer in Japan is long queues everywhere: in banks, ice cream shops, Disneyland and most women's public toilets. Ever noticed how there are signs for estimated waiting times in certain queues? Ever wondered how the waiting time was calculated, and whether it's actually accurate or just cooked up randomly by a ride operator? Ever wanted to know how to calculate your own estimated waiting time? If you haven't, you're going to find out the answer anyway.

And the answer is.... Little's Law! A quite clever and neat-looking theorem developed by an American academic named John Little (who did not, however, develop any department stores), which Japanese Afternoon TV summarised, applied and simplified to the following:

No. of people in front of you in the queue ÷ No. of people who join the queue behind you after 1 minute = No. of minutes of waiting time

To test this wonderfully simple theory, JAT sent a young man out to stand in the snaking queues for Cold Stone, a popular ice cream store developed by an American couple. The young man duly started his stopwatch upon entering the queue, counted 22 people in front of him, waited a minute, and counted 2 people queuing behind him in that time. Using his mental mathematical powers, he concluded that his waiting time should be 11 minutes. And indeed, it was.... 10 minutes and 20 seconds till the moment when the cheery singing staff handed him his ice cream. That, for the home audience, is an impressive discrepancy of just 40 seconds. Amazing!

So this summer, why not spend the 2 hours in line for a ride at Disneysea putting Little's Law to the test? Distract yourself and the kids for at least 2 minutes! That's the power of mathematics.

Ijyou desu!

On keeping cool and fried chicken

In the heat of summer, to stay cool while sleeping through those hot muggy nights, one must inevitably use an electric fan at least. But! The fan should not be pointing directly at you, the sleeping individual, but rather away from you, at a wall. This is so that the wind from the fan can hit the wall and circulate back to you, wafting you with a light, gentle coolingness, rather than blasting you with cold gusts that are somehow bad for your body (it might have been something about how it will make your body less resistant to the outdoor heat?). The fan should also be kept on non-rotate mode while pointed at the wall.

If you're feeling particularly rich, sweaty, or don't pay your own electricity bills, consider using both the air-conditioner and the fan while sleeping. Position the fan directly below the air-con, so that the cool air from the air-con will waft through the fan and cool down the room faster than if just using the air-con alone (approximately 8 minutes faster, in case you were interested).

Summer's not just about keeping cool, however. It's also about fried chicken. And the competition's heating up in hip-cool youth hangout Shibuya, Tokyo, where a KFC and a Macdonald's are located side by side, resulting in some fierce fried chicken wars. The Macdonald's, within 3 days of KFC opening next door, started giving out free fried chicken pieces to every single customer, including those who just went in for a cup of coffee. In this way, a cool one million pieces of Macdonald's fried chicken changed hands one million times and entered the stomachs of one million fried chicken eaters.

Which was just as well for the fried chicken eaters anyway, because KFC's strategy was to make their restaurant interior all hip and chic, and introduce oven-roasted chicken to their menus in a bid to win over their target market of young health-conscious office ladies. That's right, folks. A Kentucky Fried Chicken with non-fried chicken. It's enough to make a grown man weep. Next thing you know, they'll be selling boiled baby potatoes with organic green beans grown in-house. Oh wait, that's Subway.

Ijyou desu!

On commercials

Who doesn't love a good commercial? I know I do. Today, Japanese Afternoon TV brings us funny / interesting commercials from around the world, complete with a funny bearded white man in a flower print shirt as the guest to talk about them. As to what his relevance is, other than being as foreign as the ads, one can only guess. Maybe he's from the ad agency that made them (seems like at least 2 of them are made by the same firm)?

In any case, here are the ads:

1) The One With The Evil Baby

Watch the trailer. This ad is pretty funny, but in a mildly freaky way as well. And apparently it's a video game as well. I just said "as well" twice as well.

2) The One With The Suspenseful And Mysterious Adventure

This one is really funny, and has an excellent concept. As you're watching, try to guess what the product is, as well as what will happen at the end. Bet it's not what you expect (hint: it's French!).

3) The One Featuring Something Japanese Would Never Do In Public

This isn't a new one, but perhaps it's the one that started it all?

Oh yeah, and there are these special shoelaces that are really short, and like, just span 2 eyelets each, so you can, like, customise how your shoes look, and, like, never have to tie laces ever again. Yeah.

Ijyou desu!

On extramarital affairs

Extramarital affairs. Uwaki in Japanese. Japanese Afternoon TV interviews 100 (unfortunately anonymous) cheating spouses to get an insight into their mindsets. Besides the "The most important thing is the H" reason (don't ask why the Japanese call having sex "H"), here are some things that Japanese men think of having affairs:

- It's a necessary evil.

- It's a normal animal instinct.

- It's a normal human right.

- It's like having a meal.

Japanese husbands, anyone?

Ijyou desu!

*Edited: I accidentally deleted a useful comment, so for the benefit of other readers, "H" sounds like "ecchi" which is the Japanese word for sex or erotic stuff. Wiki it.

On karaoke and popularity polls

Everyone knows karaoke is Japan's gift to the world. But the question that keeps us up at night is, in the Land of the Rising Sun itself, what is the Top Karaoke Song, like, ever? Japanese Afternoon TV finds out and shares the thrilling results.

First, let's create some suspense by revealing the Top 19th song:

"Sekai Ni Hitotsu Dake No Hana" ("The Only Flower Of Our Kind In This World"), by "boy" band SMAP, 2003.

One point of appeal, no doubt, is that karaoke-goers whose voices are nowhere near stellar (or, let's face it, are completely off-key) can take comfort in the fact that they have good company in Nakai-san (and most of the rest of SMAP), and are thus Not The Only Flower Of Their Kind In This World.

Skipping the rest of the non-important numbers, here we are at No. 2:

"Nada Sou-sou" ("Never-ending Tears", or, according to Wiki, "Great Tears Are Spilling") by Natsukawa Rimi (originally written by Begin and Moriyama Ryoko), 2001.

Well, who could resist a song about never-ending tears, especially one that accompanied a tearjerker movie starring Tsumabuki Satoshi? Extra: watch Hayley Westenra sing it in English! On Japanese TV!

Since the suspense is killing us all, here's No. 1:

"Hanamizuki" by Hitoto You, 2004

And if you thought the Japanese were the only ones who loved this song, check out this exclusive, non-JAT-endorsed music video.

If this poll was any indication, seems like the Japanese don't always choose dumplings over flowers (or tears).

Ijyou desu!

On etiquette

Where would we all be if we didn't have this little thing called etiquette? We may not all live on the Upper East Side, but that doesn't mean we have to slum it by using the wrong fork to eat our salads. Life's too short. Japanese Afternoon TV shows you all the nitty-gritties of proper etiquette, so you don't have to live like a slob:

1) When entertaining and serving Japanese tea and a light snack to your guests, always serve the snack before the tea, setting the snack plate directly in front of your guest, and the tea cup off to the right. This is because it's apparently better to get a little food in you and not drink tea on an empty stomach. Also, if you set the tea in the middle and the snack off to the side, your guest risks knocking over the tea cup while reaching for the snack. Aspiring Japanese daughters-in-law, be warned!

2) When on a date and dining in a fancy restaurant that uses actual, expensive wine glasses, and you get lipstick on your glass after drinking, don't use your napkin (which should be opened, folded neatly in half and placed on your lap with the open ends facing away from you) to wipe the glass directly. This may scratch the pricey glass. Instead, discreetly use your thumb to wipe the lipstick off, then wipe your thumb on the inside fold of your napkin. This ensures that the lipstick mark won't be seen on the outside of your napkin, nor will it risk staining your clothes. And this routine should be repeated every time you take a sip of wine. Whoever said fine dining was easy, ladies?

3) If you find it a chore to be constantly wiping off lipstick from your glass, why not try mastering the art of drinking without touching your lipstick? Balance the inner edge of the glass on the underside of your upper lip. Then, while sipping, try to balance it as much as possible on the upper lip, while touching as little of your lower lip as possible, keeping the lips tight. If any of you actually succeeds in figuring this out, let me know.

4) When eating peas in a fine dining setting, don't pierce your peas with your fork. Instead, lightly press the back of your fork on the peas, catching them in between the prongs (and hopefully not smushing them too much). What's the rationale behind this? My guess (from personal experience) is that trying to impale the peas individually probably risks them flying off the plate, and possibly landing in someone else's glass or handbag. Not the picture of elegance you want to be portraying at a classy establishment.

Now go forth and charm everyone's socks off with your superior knowledge of entertaining and dining etiquette!

Ijyou desu!