On eggs

Mmm....eggs. Here are 7 ways to cook eggs the Japanese Afternoon TV way, as taught by experts such as the Top Scrambled Egg Chef in the World and people who make food in restaurants and sell it for money.

1) Toyouri Yude Tamago (Boiled egg with soft gooey centre)

One of the most delicious ways to eat eggs is the ramen way - hard-boiled, but with an oozy-goozy yolk that flows tantalisingly, seductively and orange-ly out as soon as you cut the egg in half on a close-up shot. Here's the no-fail, guaranteed-hypothetical-money-back way to make them:

Dip a cold egg from your fridge in boiling water 3 times (on a ladle), then put the egg in the water and boil covered for exactly 7 minutes. Japanese Afternoon TV stresses very strongly that it cannot be a minute more or a minute less, so use a timer (or stare at your watch and count to 420). After 7 minutes, take out the egg and immediately immerse it in ice water. Cut the egg with a knife or a string and revel in its perfect ooziness.

2) The Perfect Fuwa-Fuwa (Fluffy) Scrambled Eggs

What's the secret? Other than the usual salt, whisk some nama cream (fresh cream) into the eggs! Then, after pouring the eggs into the pan, don't touch them for 30 seconds. Absolutely no mixing during that time is necessary for the fuwa-fuwa (fluffy)-ness of the eggs to emerge. After that, gently push the eggs about in the pan till cooked. Fuwa-fuwa!

3) Carbonara Spaghetti Cheat

Use instant powdered corn soup as the base for your sauce! Just add a fresh raw egg yolk to the corn soup, and probably some seasoning and liquids (don't ask me what, it was too fast for me to catch). Then cook your spaghetti and put it right on the sauce, mix it and voila! Mamma mia itsa easy!

4) Kids Favourite Omelette

Heat some milk in the frying pan, then add an egg, cocoa powder (yes, cocoa powder) and salt and mix. Smash up some silken tofu, add that to the mix. Lastly, add some butter. Wow! A brown, strange-tasting chocolate omelette that your kids will love!

5) 5-Minute Chawan-Mushi (Steamed Egg)

Why haul out those fiddly little egg cups and giant steamers (or, indeed, buy them) when you can make chawan-mushi the easy way in a frying pan? How is that possible, you ask with great skepticism? First, cook your shrimp, mushrooms and whatnots in a pan of boiling water, adding a little sake and mirin. Take out the cooked shrimp etc and add the magic ingredient, cornflour, to the boiling water. Stir the beaten egg into the water, and when it's all chawan-mushi-like, take it out, arrange it with the shrimp stuff in a chawan-mushi-like way, and pretend you spent hours making it.

6) Fuwa-fuwa Omu-rice - The Home Cook's Way

The sad news is, even Japanese Afternoon TV's featured omu-rice chef herself shook her head regretfully when asked if there was a way home cooks could replicate professionally done fuwa-fuwa omu-rice in their humbly-equipped home kitchens. But! There is a way to fake it! And she's about to tell you!

First, fry up the ketchup rice using ketchup, rice and any other stuff you want (suggestions include ham and...yeah, that's about all I got). Then, add the secret weapon of 50 ml of nama cream to 2 eggs and whisk them about merrily. Then! Separate one-third of the egg mix, add butter and microwave it for 30 seconds on 500W. When it comes out, it should be fuwa-fuwa. Wow! Put the remaining two-thirds of the eggs in a frying pan and make a normal, non-fuwa-fuwa omelette. Put the ketchup rice in the normal omelette, and then hide the fuwa-fuwa bits inside the omelette before you fold it shut. Hey, it's either that or buy a professional kitchen.

7) The Ultimate Way To Make Tamago-kake-gohan (Raw Egg on Rice)

A favourite breakfast dish among lovers of raw egg and rice, tamago-kake-gohan is not, however, just a raw egg cracked randomly on top of rice (though actually, it is). It requires an actual restaurant chef to tell us the correct, and most ultimate supreme, way to prepare and enjoy it.

Firstly, don't beat your shoyu (soy sauce) in with the egg and then pour it sloppily over the rice like all those other plebeians. If you do this, the sauce will seep to the bottom of the rice bowl and you'll be left with a soggy salty bottom bit. Instead, sprinkle the soy sauce over the rice, then separate the raw egg yolk from its white, putting them on opposite sides of your rice bowl. Put chopped negi (spring onion) and wasabi (and some other green thing I couldn't make out) in the middle on the rice, and enjoy your tamago-kake-gohan the atas (non-Japanese word meaning "snooty high-class") way!

Ijyou desu!